mine, all mine.

i got the apartment! it's my secret hiding spot thus far. no one has been to the new place yet, just me. so every time i've been there it's just been an experience with myself. i spent the entire weekend making trips over there with some of my things - the stuff that's annoying to move - but i can handle with no complaints because it's mine. and no complaints should be had at this new apartment... because it's mine. no roommates. no one to bug. just mine, all mine. even though it's a small one bedroom, i'm going to treat it as a warm, inviting space for friends. i'm excited to finish decorating. design*sponge has been very inspiring through this process.

the hunt

in the past year i've learned a lot. about communication with others. and appreciating what i have. and how to decipher between the good and the bad. i learned how to see what i want and put my energy in what i want, what is worth it, and to quit while i'm ahead with anything else. (that's not to say that giving up is okay, but just that when it's wrong, it's wrong. don't push it.)

so for the past month, the hunt has been on for my new homely dwelling. i knew where i wanted to go, so i searched and searched for every possibility to be found. while there were many, none have been the perfect place. and so i'm accepting that when it comes to apartment hunting, settling is necessary. (i'd never recommend settling to any fellow explorer in search of the good ones, however, when it comes to living situations, avoiding homelessness has to take priority.)

i think i may have found the one. a small little place of my own. it will definitely need some fixing up, and i hope my friends do not judge the book by its cover. it's an odd color green. (somewhat reminiscent of mint chocolate chip ice cream, so that's not half bad.) one of the biggest reasons i fell for this one was because of the manager of the building. she was a good one. willing to help and change anything, and wishing me luck in finding my perfect place no matter where it was. something about her made me happy there.

i go back today to turn in the application. fingers crossed. let's hope my search is complete.

if i could send the world his music i would.

it's a tough place to be in when you've fallen in love with a musician. it's been said again and again, not to go for boys in bands, but girls like me just don't listen to things like that. she'll be warned of poor behavior and neglect, those other girls and the instruments that take priority. but the truth is, while all of those things exist, it's only really tough to fall in love with a musician when it's the one-sided kind of love.

and happily, i've got the not so tough kind. and when you've got that kind, the only real tough part is the almost long distant relationship you must be able to commit to every other month when the band goes on tour.

in the past i've said (at least a few times) that i don't share well... because it was a phrase to be said, and claiming it never made me feel too horrible or selfish. however, i've never really had to share much at all, so saying i wasn't skilled at doing so was really just a joke stemming from my inexperience. barbies.. apartments... boyfriends.. every girl wants them to just be her own.

but i realized today that i must confront said sharing with a giving heart. sharing my boyfriend with other people is completely required for him to do what he loves. and as much as my phrase dropping self (the self inside all of us that has the ability to create a pun out of a blog posting title.. the cliche phrase re-inventor, that self), as much as my unoriginal phrase dropping "i don't share well" self wants to be pouty and frustrated that my boyfriend is gone overseas for two weeks (another tour, another countdown of days 'til he's back), my peaceful and happy self (the self that is loved and is in love... that is supportive and excited for the band... the self that wants me to move forward and achieve, and not be foiled by the negative self), that self says: share him. share him with the world. share him with music lovers and music haters alike. let him do exactly what he is meant to do because the music should have no limits.

and when i let myself let go of the silly phrase that meant nothing at all, i realize i'm just as excited as he is for the trip to london. and to any other place they book shows. because the more shows, the better. if i can't get out and reach the world, at least he can, and that's something positive that i can't help but love.

the good stuff.

dinner and a concert.

home cooked meal after a long day of work.

visits with family.

perfectly acceptable silence.

teamwork.

dance parties.

splitting wine bottles.

kickball with friends.

laughing at awful tv.