i heart los angeles

the love that my parents share is, as i wrote in their 27th anniversary card, an inspiring one that has taught me not only about what it is to have love between two people, but what it is to have a truly loving family. it's an example that has set my standards high -- probably too high for most los angeles prospects. i really haven't dated too much while living in and around hollywood, but from what i've seen and heard, it's rough. the comments i can agree with -- everyone is in their own world, focused on their own career(s). (most are pursuing multiple feats: acting, modeling, directing, etc.) it's a strange world to live in, especially being someone who did not arrive with a dream. i wanted to be a writer, "someday", but i never felt it as an almost selfish passion that would limit myself from other endeavors. there is nothing wrong with going after your dreams in such a way, but it does diminish the ability to develop strong relationships with people. everyone is very much looking for the right connections, rather than the connection. the love relationships they have with one another in between those "big break" moments are mostly physical, generally superficial, and usually left empty and unexplained. i'm so done with that pattern. from now on, i'm looking for the good ones. my heart deserves nothing less.