pros and cons of balloons.

i keep shaking myself awake in the middle
of the day. daydreaming as usual. daydreaming about
getting back to my comfort. waking up to realize that, again,
he's off on tour. i'm feeling a little bit hazy.

i guess it hasn't hit me.

after 3 weeks of trying to soak up every second of
energy, + love,
[while still resuming as usual]
a weekend in the hot desert (overwhelmingly)
strengthened /
expanded /
bloated
my heart.
[my hands] my grip.

it all feels like those balloons on strings at the festivals...
going with the wind... individual
balloons.. holding up that string..
holding up each other.. out of line, but always in a line.
just when i think i've got a handle on it... the wind shifts.

but there is more good here than there is in a balloon.
(balloons liter the earth. they explode. they make your hair frizz.)

here balloons inspire.

2 days to go.

photos: mine & theirs

oh, semantics.

Thanks to the ability to search through tweets, I have the immediate satisfaction of knowing that crowds of people across the states are loving a set. It's all worth it. My boyfriend "kills it" every night... and that's actually a good thing. A wonderful thing.

Proud. And happy.

i'd rather be in Paris.

Replies and Reminders

In reply to a friend who writes of close quarters, I must say thank you.

I sit in this office every day, typing in destinations and viewing streets through the screen. I daydream about flying and with no sleep, gifting more smiles and supportive squeezes. Most often the daydreams remain just that, and I admire (the energy, and) the ability to chase it. Then I read about the fears and the struggles, the unexpected (materialistic) needs serving as substitutions of the real love and comfort, substitutions of home, and realize they are learning a new way of living: Away from loved ones, away from everything already known. They must rely on suitcases, and each other, like a circle of skydivers with a low number of parachutes. It is a thrill.

After spending an excessive amount of hours in that tour van, on the road, I understand the words now. The ones that talk of cramped spaces and interrupted sleep. They have sent themselves to the streets to experience it all in a different way. And they do, and we do. My pillow never moves more than a few inches. His will travel the world.

It's completely chaotic, but I must say, entirely worth it. Speeding mile after mile to get home, 20 hours without much time to stretch, there was a hazy longing for the road once we unlocked the front door with our own keychain. I want to go back there.

Within the boxes of my months, certain numbers have a [city] match. Few of those have a boarding pass, and the rest are just reminders.

is it just me?

i love going to shows. seriously, love. but i realized this week, as my music-loving / show-attending boyfriend is still on tour, that i'm still without a partner in crime. i've got best friends, but... all of these best friends live at least 6 hours away. i really wouldn't expect it to be so difficult to find someone who loves to see live music - in the same genre as me - that could fill the shoes that my (forever cherished) girls once did... but it really is tough. that's all for now. twiddling thumbs.

on the road again.

so the boys will be on their way up the coast to canada and back next week through the end of the month. tours are great for the band, but for me, that means two weeks without his kisses. i make the most of the time to myself, and i've already got a few shows on my own calendar for checking out, but i also can't help wanting to countdown the days.

but i've gotta take it day by day... or week by week.. who knows what kind of huge tour they'll end up on in the near future. eep. it is so bittersweet. but i'm proud. and happy for them. they deserve it.

next monday lykke li is going to be dj-ing at the standard in hollywood. as much as i dislike the standard, i'm looking forward to checking out her set. djs in general fascinate me, with their cool lean and presumably elite music taste. [if only that were true with them all]. i have a feeling lykke li will entertain my inner foot loose.

1 week til coachella take off... :)

this week the action's in austin

it has arrived! sxsw is this week, a big showcase type event in austin for all of the bands and industry people to mingle and schmooze one another. my man's band is on their way there now... off to tire themselves out with lots of music, lots of people who like music, sun and undoubtedly a lot of alcohol. they're playing a bunch of shows and showcases and it should be a really great week for them. i'm really excited to hear all about it.

on the flip side, i so wish i could be in that van right now, road tripping across the states. but i've started a long list of things i will do while they are gone: drinks with friends. yoga. wine night with the girls. spa massage. i've been needing to catch up on some things.

i spent the weekend in a beachside hotel in santa barbara. my favorite moment: wine tasting on the pier while the pigeons danced to live jazz music.