"10"

Long before I officially began my search for the good ones here, bff R and I were counting the perfect 10 moments. While roommates for a year, we had quite a few adventures, rated 1-10. As much as we can worry and become "paralyzed by choice" I know we both appreciate the little things, and how we find laughter in and around them all. Those good little moments, for our purposes, the good ones, are more than enough to make an incredible day.

R caught a flight down to Los Angeles to spend a few days - an assortment of good, great, and amazing - she hardly recognized the town. Our past adventures were in the very beginning stages of search. Now in my new apartment in my new neighborhood, the good finds were already bookmarked.

Dinner at Masa. That famous chocolate chip cannoli. Cheap wine at El Prado, soundtrack on records. Bienvenidos. Brunch at Cliff's Edge, where the toast keeps coming. Art * Craft * Vintage. New friends. New dresses. Southern California weather. Nap with the air con going. Trader Joes and dark chocolate covered blueberries.

Next-door neighbor bar. Cheap drinks. Photo booth. Denny's trickery. Darkness in the cemetery. Bottle Rocket and almost-spooning. Planet Earth and mango salsa. Buddhist blessing. Purple sunrise. The most amazing 6am performance we've ever seen. Bon Iver love. "What might have been lost" sing-a-long. Zzz..tea. Magical parking spot. Abbot Kinney. Parson Red Heads. Marked5 food truck. Hey Alex. Fly!

Bon Iver's sunrise show was wonderfully surreal. It feels like a dream, but better. I can't listen to For Emma, Forever Ago without longing for that beautiful hazy morning. The performance was perfection, as much as one can be at such an early hour. And the moment itself, a top of the top 10 list moment.

With Love (in place of leaves.)

It started with a less than three dimensional smile and a shoulder shrug of intrigue.
Same as the clatter of wood against a small tom drum gradually builds
to a tune,
where I'm at now grew from only the slightest chance into a rumble of energy and love. One inspiring another, I call it a tree of love because I
can't imagine any of it without every piece of what it is.

I met a boy, but I've met five as well.
Their commitment to each other wasn't a secret for long, and as soon as I realized what I'd found I only fell deeper. Each with their own role, personally & musically, the branches of their talents just keep growing more and more near to my heart.

They are (each and together) teaching me so much about it all...
Passion, talent, love, life;
how to laugh while everyone is taking it all too seriously.
At a Hollywood hotel pool where everyone is just too cool...
they jumped in, and played chicken.

Off on tour again, I miss each of them,
those branches, and the whole tree; all of them together, recreating these lessons through a 45 minute expression of everything they've got.
Each night, in each city, connecting us all.

I miss him. Of course I miss him. Our nest. My love. My heart.
But he'll be back soon enough.
Every moment until then, I just feel.
I feel the wind, I feel the sun, I feel inspired. I feel excited.
I imagine that I'm spinning. Like a 6 year old in a party dress.

I wouldn't trade it for a second of anything else.

a good one

i've been trying to find a top notch friend to laugh over nothing with, since my bests do still

insist on living far, far away. a good one i may have found; her drunken nonsense last night reminded me of the love you have for a friend just because you do. that moment, when she's yelling at her highest pitch voices, words that don't make sentences, but you get it, that's the moment you know.

is it just me?

i love going to shows. seriously, love. but i realized this week, as my music-loving / show-attending boyfriend is still on tour, that i'm still without a partner in crime. i've got best friends, but... all of these best friends live at least 6 hours away. i really wouldn't expect it to be so difficult to find someone who loves to see live music - in the same genre as me - that could fill the shoes that my (forever cherished) girls once did... but it really is tough. that's all for now. twiddling thumbs.

words to live by

So you're wishing that you never did all the embarrassing things you've done?

And you're wishing you could set it right

And you're wishing you could stay the night

But then I go again

Wishing never solved a problem

If you want to get it big time

Go ahead and get it get it big time

-- yeasayer's "tightrope"

when i named my blog i decided to make reference to the game of footsie simply because it's one of those silly things people do with each other that - no matter what - always makes us smile. sometimes it's a surprise or an accident, or sometimes it's mutual and full of giggles. but sometimes the interactions we share with each other are everything but coy and gentle. sometimes there are tears, frustrations, and stormy weather, storming off. the moments when honesty turns too honest and toes get stepped on. the moments when no one says a thing, assumptions are verbalized, and someone ends up with a foot in their mouth. wouldn't it be nice if we could all speak nicely and softly, with care and eye contact, just as we would under the covers with our lovers. yes, but even lovers quarrel.

i write this for my friends, one of whom i walked home with other night in the dark, and another who has just started on her own again. i hope you find your steps. i hope you can share soft spoken confessions. i hope you can see, even in the darkness, that the signs are there, and you will find your way. sometimes we make mistakes. sometimes we let mistakes go on for a long, long time. but we do get to look at them afterwards and realize that we've learned. and we get to call out to our friends and gather hugs and support. i hope you will follow your heart and find what you're looking for. if you haven't already, you will make the right choice. it's yours. love and learn. and don't be afraid to take a new step with those feet.

i just had a decently-sized craving for summer vacation.

we all love our fair share of escapism - the movies - the music - reality tv - but growing up, summer vacation was definitely the highlight of my year. no more sitting in class. no more homework. no more bad weather. summer vacation is the truest escape of them all.... for kids anyway. and being the planner that i am and was from day one, around this time of year, april - may, i always started looking for summer activities: sports camps (hated them), art classes (a favorite), summer jobs (anything by a pool), and trips with the fam of course (i really always have enjoyed these!).

but unless you become a teacher, 3 months of fun doesn't exist anymore. once committed to a 9-5, there's nothing but a change in jackets for summer. every day will still be a workday, and every night, saturday, and sunday will still be my only chance to satisfy the cravings of freedom and guilty pleasures.

but maybe it's better this way. when i was a kid, i couldn't afford a thing, and all that time went to waste. now i've got to choose my activities wisely (definitely avoiding sports camp) and make the most of my nights and weekends.

i think i'm doing well at that. last night i went to the echo with a bunch of friends, and then completed my evening with a sleepover. i refuse to let having a job take over my fun. i mean... maybe i'll have something different to say about all of this after my review with my boss later today, but for now, i'm going maximize my time off - and appreciate the fact that i get to do what i want, even if it is mostly while the sun is asleep.

and on the flip side, as much as i always loved summer break, i also really loved shopping for school supplies. and now i spend 40 hours a week with a computer, desk lamp, stapler, and a never-ending supply of ball point pens. if only they'd order me some highlighters....

je veux te voir

i've switched to green tea. two years ago, i was finishing up my english & philosophy classes, and i was still pushing myself to meet deadlines. that's when the ice-blended obsession started. coffee bean is far superior to starbucks, in my opinion, and they make a mean mint / mocha combo. so its safe to say i was completely hooked once finding this drink. especially after a late night of writing / not writing / deciding to go to sleep and wake up early to really wait until the last minute.

after i graduated, i didn't have much of a reason to wake myself up. for a couple [then, aimless] months, i was without job and forced to enjoy the sunshine; a coffee drink became my guilty pleasure. now... i've found my pleasures elsewhere. now i've switched to green tea. less calories and more refreshing, i find something satisfying about tasting the green.

i think that the acceptance of a switch like this probably comes with age. the fluffy / mocha drinks can become too luxurious, and leave you only craving more and more. hollywood does the same thing. it's fun and addicting at first, but it becomes empty and tiresome, a realization discovered usually not as quickly as you'd like.

at this point in los angeles, i think i've found my green tea: in genuine laughter and honest questions and answers. hikes and music with a heart on its sleeve. home cooked meals. cuddles under blankets. conversations that matter. smiles worth waiting for. ah. i can't wait for the boys to get back from south by. i had a very productive week, but i'm ready for the whirlwind to start again. the past 2 years has been a dizzy rush rush of searching... but this spin is my dance floor happiness brought to life.

mm. sipping my green tea, not wishing it would last longer. no addiction. just pure goodness. yes.

this week the action's in austin

it has arrived! sxsw is this week, a big showcase type event in austin for all of the bands and industry people to mingle and schmooze one another. my man's band is on their way there now... off to tire themselves out with lots of music, lots of people who like music, sun and undoubtedly a lot of alcohol. they're playing a bunch of shows and showcases and it should be a really great week for them. i'm really excited to hear all about it.

on the flip side, i so wish i could be in that van right now, road tripping across the states. but i've started a long list of things i will do while they are gone: drinks with friends. yoga. wine night with the girls. spa massage. i've been needing to catch up on some things.

i spent the weekend in a beachside hotel in santa barbara. my favorite moment: wine tasting on the pier while the pigeons danced to live jazz music.

one two three four

tonight is the last show at the silverlake lounge residency. the month went by extremely fast, but i suppose it was really only 4 weeks of fun. i'm excited to embrace what's left of it as soon as i get off work! i'm thinking, spandex pants, heels, and something fun and flowy on top. lots of drinks. lots of people. and lots of spinning in circles at the end of the night. penny lane style. dancing on confetti.

the weekend was a happy one. we went to a party on friday night -- a surprise birthday party which at first we thought might be awkward since no one knew anyone at the party -- but it was surprisingly (for us too! ha) super fun and laid back. good music. the apartment was decorated really well... cute and girly.. and the people were all very nice. plus, there was a full coffee table of snacks. that always wins me over.

saturday night was spent with friends and more friends crowded in and around a booth at cha cha lounge in silverlake. new friends. old friends. complete contentment.

rain on my parade

the weekend we've all been waiting for has finally arrived! i'm picking up R from the airport in 4 hours... then it's off to find a dance floor or 2.! R suggested we choose our evening's adventure based on what we choose to wear... which is brilliant. personally, when i choose my outfits everyday, what i put on has everything to do with my mood... what's inspiring me.. and what's on my mind. we reflect the swirlings of our inner thoughts in a combination of colors and patterns and shapes. high heels or flats. so why wouldn't we take our day to where (wear) our outfit wants to be seen. it's brilliant. i love it.

it is raining, however, and as much as i hate the gloomy, icky cold weather, i'm going to embrace it. my car was clean, now it's not, but whatever, at least there's fun to be had!

vegas.......... i'll be seeing you real soon. :)

today i'll wear flats.

i love living in l.a. because there really is so much to do and see here. and although the go go go can be tiring, it's completely worth it.

friday night was the night at the museum relived. A and i checked out first fridays at the natural history museum which is basically a night of music in a museum full of stuffed animals and vaquero costumes. we cruised through the history lessons first, and then watched the little ones for a bit.

last night little J and her friends wanted to go out so we went to foxtail, which used to be half restaurant and half club, but now, i suppose in it's decline of popularity, it is all club. there used to be an exclusive feeling about that place, as you'd walk through the restaurant, up the dark staircase, and into the disco-reminiscent dance floor. and they used to, with care, i think, serve drinks that could be found no where else. (i loved the poisoned rose -- a sweet martini with a rose petal in it -- but it is no more.) the girls enjoyed themselves at first, but by midnight had decided (realized) it wasn't their crowd. i can agree with them there. the foxtail bunch is probably the ones wanting to feel like they've made it in l.a. -- these girls weren't trying to be l.a. at all.. which is completely acceptable in my book.

i left there, not feeling at all tipsy from my rose petal substitute, and headed east on fountain to a small room of a bar called temp spaces. it's not at all beautiful inside like an sbe joint, but the less overwhelming appearance felt right. a slow-turning disco ball, and a vintage chandelier, i was totally into it. plus james friedman was dj-ing -- apparently he's a big deal -- and for reason. i was loving it all. thx to P & S for leading me there.