"10"

Long before I officially began my search for the good ones here, bff R and I were counting the perfect 10 moments. While roommates for a year, we had quite a few adventures, rated 1-10. As much as we can worry and become "paralyzed by choice" I know we both appreciate the little things, and how we find laughter in and around them all. Those good little moments, for our purposes, the good ones, are more than enough to make an incredible day.

R caught a flight down to Los Angeles to spend a few days - an assortment of good, great, and amazing - she hardly recognized the town. Our past adventures were in the very beginning stages of search. Now in my new apartment in my new neighborhood, the good finds were already bookmarked.

Dinner at Masa. That famous chocolate chip cannoli. Cheap wine at El Prado, soundtrack on records. Bienvenidos. Brunch at Cliff's Edge, where the toast keeps coming. Art * Craft * Vintage. New friends. New dresses. Southern California weather. Nap with the air con going. Trader Joes and dark chocolate covered blueberries.

Next-door neighbor bar. Cheap drinks. Photo booth. Denny's trickery. Darkness in the cemetery. Bottle Rocket and almost-spooning. Planet Earth and mango salsa. Buddhist blessing. Purple sunrise. The most amazing 6am performance we've ever seen. Bon Iver love. "What might have been lost" sing-a-long. Zzz..tea. Magical parking spot. Abbot Kinney. Parson Red Heads. Marked5 food truck. Hey Alex. Fly!

Bon Iver's sunrise show was wonderfully surreal. It feels like a dream, but better. I can't listen to For Emma, Forever Ago without longing for that beautiful hazy morning. The performance was perfection, as much as one can be at such an early hour. And the moment itself, a top of the top 10 list moment.

the hunt

in the past year i've learned a lot. about communication with others. and appreciating what i have. and how to decipher between the good and the bad. i learned how to see what i want and put my energy in what i want, what is worth it, and to quit while i'm ahead with anything else. (that's not to say that giving up is okay, but just that when it's wrong, it's wrong. don't push it.)

so for the past month, the hunt has been on for my new homely dwelling. i knew where i wanted to go, so i searched and searched for every possibility to be found. while there were many, none have been the perfect place. and so i'm accepting that when it comes to apartment hunting, settling is necessary. (i'd never recommend settling to any fellow explorer in search of the good ones, however, when it comes to living situations, avoiding homelessness has to take priority.)

i think i may have found the one. a small little place of my own. it will definitely need some fixing up, and i hope my friends do not judge the book by its cover. it's an odd color green. (somewhat reminiscent of mint chocolate chip ice cream, so that's not half bad.) one of the biggest reasons i fell for this one was because of the manager of the building. she was a good one. willing to help and change anything, and wishing me luck in finding my perfect place no matter where it was. something about her made me happy there.

i go back today to turn in the application. fingers crossed. let's hope my search is complete.

i heart los angeles

the love that my parents share is, as i wrote in their 27th anniversary card, an inspiring one that has taught me not only about what it is to have love between two people, but what it is to have a truly loving family. it's an example that has set my standards high -- probably too high for most los angeles prospects. i really haven't dated too much while living in and around hollywood, but from what i've seen and heard, it's rough. the comments i can agree with -- everyone is in their own world, focused on their own career(s). (most are pursuing multiple feats: acting, modeling, directing, etc.) it's a strange world to live in, especially being someone who did not arrive with a dream. i wanted to be a writer, "someday", but i never felt it as an almost selfish passion that would limit myself from other endeavors. there is nothing wrong with going after your dreams in such a way, but it does diminish the ability to develop strong relationships with people. everyone is very much looking for the right connections, rather than the connection. the love relationships they have with one another in between those "big break" moments are mostly physical, generally superficial, and usually left empty and unexplained. i'm so done with that pattern. from now on, i'm looking for the good ones. my heart deserves nothing less.