On Instinct, among other things.

We were indirectly asked, which comes first, talent or passion? Pondering over the chicken-and-the-egg-like question throughout dinner, we gave up after a few drinks. Days later, I was driving [just after sunset] and realized it wasn't that complicated. It's passion. Most definitely passion. Motivation does not exist without passion. Curiosity. Creativity. Practice. Passion must fuel it all. [Unless you're driven by something entirely different (ahem, money), and art is not your interest.]

Last night I went to see The September Issue. While the documentary is about the fashion industry & a magazine that sells expensive clothes - within the look at a business [with investors, and sales groups] - there is an art. In the film, we meet Grace Coddington, fashion editor & stylist for Vogue, who visualizes multiple page spreads for the magazine every month, many of which never get published. So I got to thinking about instinct - the ability that people have to imagine and create - in this case it was a fashion photo - which stems from an instinct from inside of their very own person. Grace is just one example of the many truly talented people there are in the world making tiny decisions about every detail to create one masterpiece.

So I think instinct must come before passion or talent. And the beautiful thing is, we've all got our own. It's who we are and who we want to be. It works in amazing and magical ways, and creates something special, and different, and I think that's what we end up admiring in each other.

Go see The September Issue if it is showing in your city. It got my mind buzzing in so many ways.

somewhere over the rainbow

the other night i ended up at the key club for the first time since my living in hollywood. the crowd was ridiculously sleezy and desperate, old, and still trying to make something of a dream that has for so long been shaken apart. the bands were awful. no harmony. no inspiration. just a flat desire for fame. there might have been an ounce of passion stuck somewhere in between the tight levi's and the cheesey belt buckles, but i'm sure the combat boots will squash it sooner than later. i've never felt so depressed while watching live music.... i had to get out. never will i return to the key club again. (unless it's a great band.) ugh. everything about that place felt so wrong, tainted and broken.

somewhere over the rainbow, i spent an uplifting night at the troubadour in west hollywood last night. i saw some great bands that have their hearts and minds in the right place, and it really does send out a better feeling in the room. it was a tad cold in the venue, but the music somehow warmed the place up. plus shia labeouf was there, making a fool of himself. such a drunken, lonely celeb, trying too hard to obtain more attention. apparently he can keep a quarter on his forehead while banging his head on the bar counter -- 5 times. brilliant.

tonight we celebrate S' birthday at cha cha cha. i need to find the perfect present! she's not into contrasting colors so much. hm. monochromatic possibilities, where art thou?

i heart los angeles

the love that my parents share is, as i wrote in their 27th anniversary card, an inspiring one that has taught me not only about what it is to have love between two people, but what it is to have a truly loving family. it's an example that has set my standards high -- probably too high for most los angeles prospects. i really haven't dated too much while living in and around hollywood, but from what i've seen and heard, it's rough. the comments i can agree with -- everyone is in their own world, focused on their own career(s). (most are pursuing multiple feats: acting, modeling, directing, etc.) it's a strange world to live in, especially being someone who did not arrive with a dream. i wanted to be a writer, "someday", but i never felt it as an almost selfish passion that would limit myself from other endeavors. there is nothing wrong with going after your dreams in such a way, but it does diminish the ability to develop strong relationships with people. everyone is very much looking for the right connections, rather than the connection. the love relationships they have with one another in between those "big break" moments are mostly physical, generally superficial, and usually left empty and unexplained. i'm so done with that pattern. from now on, i'm looking for the good ones. my heart deserves nothing less.