saturday morning thanks.

it's the kind of peacefulness that slightly leads to pinching. is this really mine and how did i get here? i'm surrounded by my things and my choices and i'm spinning in circles and laughing at myself. when asked how i did it, i said i didn't know. but when i thought about it longer, i realized i only tried. the plan was never a plan, only an experiment gone right. trial and error of course, and plenty of realizations of wrong turns, but never once giving up on myself... i found the good. because i wanted to find the good. i don't want to take any moment for less than what it is; i feel lucky. when asked about feeling alone along the way, i told her i wasn't. each of you loved ones who have been there and will be there have helped me. the lonely struggles are only struggles with the past. i had to stop looking back at those bumps and keep looking for something better. never settling. never tiring. always wanting. always appreciating.

the gatekeeper wears feathers

"no pictures allowed, ladies. that's our only rule."

oh, hollywood.

we went to bardot last night because bret from flight of the conchords was dj-ing :: spinning. yes. i was spinning in circles, attempting to feel a buzz from my 2 (too) expensive drinks. actually in comparison to some places i've been before, this bar wasn't the most outrageous. i'd never been to this spot before, and i suppose i would go back just to see how i liked it the second time around. i didn't hate it. i didn't love it. something weird about the wanna-be-glam hollywood club mixed with the hipster scene. i mean, it was definitely a step above the 18+ moscow bunch, but i don't know.. maybe i'm just not impressed by the pink lighting anymore.

i do like the dancing, however, and the best moment of the night, by far was when "Shout" came on and everyone was jumping around, up, up, and then down, down, down, so low to the ground... "a little softer now"... everyone literally sitting on the dance floor, scrambling for each other's support to get back up. i love moments that bring strangers together.

to recap my valentine's day weekend... we cooked. there was wine. we walked in the cold. chocolates with funny phrases on them. i wore a heart on my shirt. home sewn. there were kisses. and that makes me smile.